Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018

I'm happy to see the end of 2017. It wasn't the best year for me due to my health and one of the main reasons I've had difficulty in accomplishing everything I wanted to. Nonetheless the things I did accomplish made a positive impact and I'm thankful to the support I have had over the year. A lot of that has come from my Mum, I really don't know what I'd do without her and although I don't feel saying thank you is enough, Thank you mum & I love you so much. 

I was very on the fence on how I'd write this post this year as my health still isn't 100%, there are some big decisions that I'm thinking about and I may have to make. I'll be honest and say I'm scared of my health at the moment and I'm just wishing and praying for some relief to come my way soon.

I uploaded a few images to my Instagram story yesterday as part of a trend to reflect your favourite moments of the year. That's influenced me with this post, going through the year and reflecting the highs and lows of it.

January - I was able to see my youngest cousin celebrate her 1st Birthday. Family means everything to me especially when it comes to the children. I had been working a lot since September with only a flying visit to see them over Christmas, I hadn't had much time with them. It was lovely to sit and watch her open her presents whilst chatting with the older siblings.
I also started a new job in January and it led me into a new friendship with Kelly that I treasure a lot. 

February - I started off the month in a lot of pain. I powered through as much as I could, even venturing to see Alice In Wonderland at the theatre. Unfortunately I couldn't take it much longer and ended up to and from my IBD team, determining I was in a flare up with my colitis and had to take a few weeks off work.

March - To get back into work and to start getting my flare under control I had to make another deal with the devil; taking prednisolone. For those confused, prednisolone is a steroid that for me has a long list of side effects with it. I gained a lot of weight, had occurring bouts of insomnia, had a huge outbreak across my face, was in a lot of pain with my joints (particularly my legs) and I fell into deeper depression and anxiety. Prednisolone helps a flare up with Ulcerative Colitis and felt it was my only option.

April - I made Easter Baskets and played Easter Bunny to my cousins children. I love being able to spoil them. I never need an occasion to but occasions are the best to do so. I loved putting them together and sharing them on hear with you.

May - I was able to go onto a lower dose of steroids which didn't get rid of the list of side effects but it weakened them. I was in a stupid head space during this month and I ended up pushing my self too much at work. I was working a 40 hour week on lunch alone. Eating breakfast upset my colitis too much in the morning and it left me unable to be on time (although my anxiety effected that too). Eating late at night meant I was up all night with my colitis / could of effected my morning. I often took "extra food" which I never ate and would make excuses that I was full or I had eaten a lot and didn't fancy dinner. I didn't look after myself because I put being employed first and that was probably one of the most stupidest things I have ever done. 

June - I cut a lot out my diet. After feeling dizzy, having headaches and generally being more fatigued than usual my mum clicked and I was eating at least two meals a day. So I cut out a lot of sugary drinks, crisps and generally stepped up eating healthily. With this I was able to do something I never ever thought I could. Travel abroad. My colitis was in an ok place but I still didn't eat anything the day before I travelled & the day I was travelling. I did the same coming back home too and without that preparation I think it would have a gone a lot worse. The main thing being, I was able to see my Granddad who lives out in Spain. Some of my favourite memories as a child were holidays to see my Granddad and I will never tire of hearing him call me "Hannah Love".

July - This was an up and down month for me and I didn't get a lot done as my bed became my solace. I actually twigged to my shadow this month. Every time I am poorly or in a flare my dog Gwen isn't far behind and would often lay on the landing outside my bedroom door or on the floor next to the sofa I was laying on.

August - I started getting ahead on Calendar Countdown and accumulating a lot of information about Beauty, Toy, Alcohol and other Advent Calendars. I ended up filling two portfolio folders and whilst doing so I was posting everyday as part of The August Review. I was shocked to wake one morning and find that Lord Alan Sugar had retweeted one of my product reviews. A huge highlight of my year. 

September - I again had time off work, I had found that I just don't suffer from Ulcerative Colitis but also from Proximal Constipation. It happens because of inflammation and that had solidified my worry that the flare up that started in February still was not under control. 

October - I started my Halloween With Hannah series and produced 4 Disney Villain looks. I had a lot more planned for the month but with being sick and becoming unemployed (something I may write a post about later) I was severely anxious and depressed. I had lost friendships I thought I had and I thought meant something to them and not just to me. I had to relearn that some people don't grow up from school ground antics. But I stood my ground, had my say and I felt a hell of a lot stronger for it. I also spent more time in Hospital having my third scope in three years and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll get more answers at my next appointment.

November - This was a hectic month blog wise but I managed to publish 160 blog posts between my Calendar Countdown series and some festive posts in between. I am still so proud of myself as all the hard work I had put into my creative outlet had paid off. 

December - It's the month of Christmas and I spent it with my Grandparents from Wales & my Brother who came home from Edinburgh. It was the month I realised that yes working hard on this space so I can reflect what and how I want is important but not a necessity. I started to become ill again with the colitis and proximal constipation which set me back when it came to getting my posts up on time but in the end I said "it's alright". This space is mine and it's my thoughts, my opinions and sharing ideas that I think will make a lot of people smile or get creative themselves. I came into the new year with the idea that I will do more of what I love but I won't stress as much about what people think.

I honestly cannot tell you what life has in store for me this year, I'll be honest again and say that with my health being so bad I had moments of upset where I wondered if I'd reach the end of 2017. But here I am 2018 and I'm ready for whatever you throw my way because I give up caring about menial things, humdrum people and trying to be my old self. 

Thanks for reading!

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